@therealkimsmith

There were no white flashes of light or great shifting in the cosmos or my immediate environment. NO-thing happened.

The day started unlike any other of the past decade. I was sober, well rested, cradled by 3000 count sheets at the L’Auberge Del Mar. The white down and my daughter’s body created a warm, fluffy nest of hope and gratitude. Thirteen days earlier I had attended an AA meeting in Phoenix. I sat in a grey plastic folding chair with a cup of bad coffee. I listened. I judged. After the meeting a stranger approached me. “You belong here. Do 90 in 90. Get a sponsor. Work the steps.”

One morning I watched the sun rise, slivers of light penetrating the drawn blinds. Electric hell to my dilated pupils. The night had passed. A mystery powder appeared on the table. A straw moved from person to person as my friends for a night took their turns. When it came to me I was going in. It could have just been me and the potion provider. I didn’t need other people to convince me or show me it was safe. Snorting was my favorite mode of extracurricular ingestion. That

I started practicing yoga at a small, one room studio in Johnson City, New York in 2002. I was charmed by the word yoga, it contained mystery and magic and unanswered questions that beckoned my attention. I was back living with my mom undergoing treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, “The most curable kind of cancer” they said. “This will be easy” they said. They were full of shit. The cancer and chemotherapy reducing my once young and abled body to a still young but definitely no

I’m not really what you would call a “people person.” Most days I prefer books, baths, and solitude to the company of humans. One on one I thrive. I hold my own in small groups. I can command a crowd as the speaker. But the dynamics of the large group is something that I usually try to avoid. I get along easier with members of the opposite sex. In my herstory different girls with different faces have played different villains, evil stepsisters, and wicked witches. All with th

I recently had my wisdom teeth removed. During my drinking days I had no time or concern for dentists or physicians. I only saw the eye doctor because driving a motor vehicle blind is frowned upon and losing a digit while cutting the carrots for dinner would be a huge bummer. I got sober and my teeth just started aching. I oil pulled, water picked and clove oiled my way through the days until the pain became unbearable. It’s entirely possible and probable that the pain was al

Now before you get your panties in a bunch and start the tirade about how addiction is not easy, first let me say, I know. Addiction is painful. Addiction is cruel. Addiction is demoralizing and sinister. I get it. Let me explain. For me addiction is a disease of the mind, of imbalanced coping skills, and irrational thinking. To read more about this please click here. A few nights ago insanity won. I had a total mental health relapse. I was overcome with a sadness that is bla

Yoga lead me to sobriety, Sobriety lead me to a desire for understanding, expansion and the capacity to share what I know. The lineage of yoga that I study focuses on energy. Everything is energy. “Yoga at it’s best is a practice of energy management.” Mary Bruce There is a whole science of the subtle body (energy, the breath, chakras, koshas, how to work with what you have, and increase your storehouse.) I am only saying this because the way our energy moves or does not mov

“Everything is sacred and ordinary” Abraham Vergese Cutting for the Stone My life has changed incredibly in the past two years. I want to share my experience so that it can benefit others. At the same time I am conflicted with honoring the sacred parts of my journey and story that are a part of the reconstruction of my heart, mind, body, and soul. I struggle with the concepts of oversharing and over-exposure and wanting to write about everything I feel. Then putting that into

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