One morning I watched the sun rise, slivers of light penetrating the drawn blinds. Electric hell to my dilated pupils. The night had passed. A mystery powder appeared on the table. A straw moved from person to person as my friends for a night took their turns. When it came to me I was going in. It could have just been me and the potion provider. I didn’t need other people to convince me or show me it was safe. Snorting was my favorite mode of extracurricular ingestion. That
Some people get energy from being around people, getting all social up in their lives. I am not one of those people. I need downtime. I need to be alone to regroup and recoup my energy. As a mom and writer a lot of my energy is directed at what I give to others. I’ll never grow tired of hearing “I love you mama." Or having a stranger tell me that something I wrote has helped them. But today nothing sounds better than spending the day alone, in my room, with the blinds closed.
I recently had my wisdom teeth removed. During my drinking days I had no time or concern for dentists or physicians. I only saw the eye doctor because driving a motor vehicle blind is frowned upon and losing a digit while cutting the carrots for dinner would be a huge bummer. I got sober and my teeth just started aching. I oil pulled, water picked and clove oiled my way through the days until the pain became unbearable. It’s entirely possible and probable that the pain was al
Now before you get your panties in a bunch and start the tirade about how addiction is not easy, first let me say, I know. Addiction is painful. Addiction is cruel. Addiction is demoralizing and sinister. I get it. Let me explain. For me addiction is a disease of the mind, of imbalanced coping skills, and irrational thinking. To read more about this please click here. A few nights ago insanity won. I had a total mental health relapse. I was overcome with a sadness that is bla
“Everything is sacred and ordinary” Abraham Vergese Cutting for the Stone My life has changed incredibly in the past two years. I want to share my experience so that it can benefit others. At the same time I am conflicted with honoring the sacred parts of my journey and story that are a part of the reconstruction of my heart, mind, body, and soul. I struggle with the concepts of oversharing and over-exposure and wanting to write about everything I feel. Then putting that into
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